Tags and Italics
Most of the text formatting in Deep POV is the same as the other POV styles. But the most obvious difference is the lack of italics. Besides reducing italics, Deep POV strives to eliminate dialogue and thought tags.
This concept contradicted what I learned about writing fiction, but after studying it closely, it made sense.
Something that stands out in authentic Deep POV is the lack of traditional (old school) dialogue tags.
Think about this for a minute.
A fundamental principle in any writing style is to eliminate telling. More so for Deep POV. Ending dialogue with said, asked, questioned, or any other similar tag is telling. So why use it?
The only purpose these tags have is to tell the reader who is doing the talking or the thinking. Right? These tags serve no other purpose. Removing these dialogue tags will draw the reader closer to the character.
- These tags are so common that most readers ignore them.
- In many cases, the reader knows who is talking. So why use them?
- Dialogue tags don’t add tension, drama, or suspense, or enhance the story.
- These tags can be redundant. If the dialogue has a question, why tag it by adding I/he/she asked, questioned, etc?
- In Deep POV, tags are a form of telling.
Tags such as asked, replied, requested, said, shouted, whispered, demanded, yelled, etc . . . can pull the readers out of the story.
So, how do you get rid of them?
- Don’t use them
- Use action beats
- Use internal voice
The goal is to ensure the action beat or internal voice adds tension, drama, and suspense or enhances the story.
An action beat is using physical actions or gestures to describe a character’s goals, desires, and motivations.
Sue is the POVC. She is at the police station filing a complaint. The officer is typing on the keyboard.
See the difference between the three examples? Replacing traditional dialogue tags with an action beat or internal voice makes reading more engaging.
Deep POV principles treat thought tags the same as dialogue tags. Thought tags such as he/she thought, he/she wanted to say, he/she wondered, etc., can pull readers out of the story, and it is also telling. Think about this for a second or two.
If the reader knows what the character is thinking or wondering, why tag it with “he thought” or “he wondered?” That is redundant. Right?
- Don’t use them
- Use action beats
- Use internal voice
Sue is in bed, tossing and turning, unsure if she is asleep or awake.
Another Deep POV principle is cutting down on using italics. Think about this for a minute. Italicizing internal thought is a flag to notify the reader that the sentence is a thought. If I’m writing in limited and Deep point of view, the reader already knows the sentence is the character’s thoughts. So why use italics?
The reasoning behind this principle is to avoid distracting the reader. A page, a chapter, or a novel bouncing back and forth between standard text and italics can be distracting. This principle is based on consistency.
That said, there are no established rules or guidelines. However, there are a few suggestions.
- The fewer italics, the better.
- No italics for internal thought/dialogue. And no tags.
- Italics for an uncommon foreign language word.
- Use italics to emphasize a word.
- Use italics if telepathy or in mind dialogue when ghosts, spirits, or paranormal entities are involved.
Some authors use italics for internal thoughts if the words “I” or “me” are in the sentence. Others don’t. Remember, there are no established rules. Choose one style and stay with it throughout the novel.
This one can get tricky. Some authors don’t use italics for dialogue involving ghosts, spirits, or telepathic speaking. They use standard text and replace the quotation marks with double slashes, angle brackets, square brackets, parentheses, asterisks, or a different font.
The following are a few examples of how some authors handle dialogue involving ghosts, spirits, or telepathic speaking.
If the story has multiple types of vocal and telepathic dialogue, distinguishing between them is a good idea. The reader will figure it out. Use any of the formatting styles mentioned and be consistent throughout the story.
| Boundaries | by Mercedes Lacky |
| Carrie | by Stephen King |
| The Book of Jhereg | by Steven Brust |
| Animorphs (series) | by K. A. Applegate |
| The Iron Druid Chronicles | by Kevin Hearne |
| The Menagerie | by Tui Sutherland |
Writing a story containing mind-reading, emotion-reading, extra-sensory perception, precognition, or some other special ability can get tricky, even complicated. Why? Because the writer must think outside of the box. Think like the character.
Some limited point-of-view guidelines do not apply, such as a character not knowing what another character is thinking or feeling.
Charlie is an extraterrestrial and can read minds. He scans a person’s mind and knows everything about them.
Head hopping is an endless topic discussed on writing forums. Some writers oppose it, while others favor it. Everyone has a reason for defending their beliefs. To make it more confusing, many writing books and writing instructors say NO head-hopping. However, many well-known authors do it. So, who is right?
My mind is so focused on learning and using limited and deep point-of-view principles that novels written using old-school omniscient point-of-view jolt my brain. Some scenes read like head hopping, but it is not. Why?
I noticed this when reading classic novels. Hemingway comes to mind. Mr. Hemingway uses an omniscient narrator, and the omniscient POV can violate a lot of the writing principles that would be considered bad writing.
- In an omniscient point of view, the character or characters do not have a voice. It is the author doing the narrating who knows everything about all the characters.
- An objective omniscient narrator does not share opinions in a story. The objective omniscient narrator only tells what is happening.
- A subjective omniscient narrator goes further and offers/shares opinions with the readers.
What exactly is head hopping? Everyone has their own definition.
- Head-hopping occurs when the viewpoint changes between characters within a sentence or paragraph.
- Having the character’s thoughts and actions and the narrator’s voice in a sentence or paragraph without a proper transition (scene break) is also head-hopping.
Another way of saying this is that each character must have their own space (paragraph).
Head hopping can sneak into your writing, and even experienced writers might go back and review a scene.
- Weakens the writing.
- Makes the reader stop to think or reread. (Speed bump)
- Makes the reader lose track of a character.
- Slows down the story’s rhythm.
- Signals an unfocused scene that kills emotion, tension, drama, and suspense.
- Comes across as clumsy.
- Who is speaking, the character, or the narrator?
- Are the words, thoughts, or actions coming from the character’s POV or an observer’s perspective?
Write each scene from the character’s POV. If the story has multiple characters, each character needs their own space (paragraph). This means when switching POVs, you must insert a scene or chapter break. Adding a transition sentence or phase is also essential.
In Deep POV, there are two acceptable ways to switch between POVs.
End of a Chapter: This is the most prominent and safest way to switch POVs. Dedicate a chapter to a single character. This works well with some stories.
End of a Scene: This option is the most common for multiple scenes and viewpoints within a chapter and is used to show time jumps. Use double lines between a scene break or three centered-spaced asterisks.
Some writing applications might remove formatting, such as double lines.
Joe is the POVC. He is at work, runs into his girlfriend Sue in the break room, and asks her out on a date.
Joe cannot read minds, so he cannot know Sue’s mood.
Pedro is eight-years-old sitting in a classroom. He is bored and looks out the window and daydreams.
Well-known authors like Ernest Hemingway, Stephen King, and Ann Patchett can get away with head-hopping. Why? I suspect that because they are skilled writers and have mastered how to break the rules.
The average reader does not know what head-hopping is and does not care. All they know is that the narrative reads odd at times. If the story is captivating, the average reader will deal with annoying head-hopping issues and keep reading.
That said, avoid head-hopping if you have not mastered the writing craft. Do not use an omniscient point of view to justify head-hopping.