Writing Tip

Adverbs


“I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs.”
—Steven King

Some causative verbs imply, suggest, or explain that something will, has, or would happen. Often, causative verbs tell the reader the result/effect of what will, has, or would happen, instead of showing the reader what or how it happened.
Like cause-and-effect, causative verbs are acceptable in other points of view, but not for Deep POV.

Adverb Definition

Adverbs describe or give information about the word they are modifying, such as a verb, adjective, clause, verbal phrase, or other adverbs.
Most adverbs end with “ly,” but not all of them. Some can end with “–ward” or “–wise,” such as (forward, backward, otherwise) or keep the same form as adjectives (hard, fast, right).

A Few Common Adverbs:
Abruptly Financially Relentlessly
Actually Firmly Simply
Amazingly Fundamentally Slowly
Awesomely Generally Softly
Badly Goodly Sorrowfully
Basically Honestly Spectacularly
Beautifully Inherently Successfully
Carefully Instantly Suddenly
Clearly Interestingly Surely
Completely Lightly Truthfully
Convincingly Loudly Ubiquitously
Deftly Narrowly Unequivocally
Delicately Naturally Ungodly
Delightfully Nearly Unnecessarily
Desperately Necessarily Unquestionably
Dexterously Obviously Unwittingly
Effortlessly Precisely Usually
Endlessly Previously Utterly
Eternally Quickly Very
Extremely Quite Widely
Faithfully Really Willfully
A few common adverbs not ending in “ly”:
afterward instead otherwise very
backward just quite yet
furthermore meanwhile rather -
however most so -
indeed much therefore -

Adverbs in dialogue tags

No doubt adverbs have their place when writing a story, and sometimes even helpful. But adverbs will kill dialogue. Dialogue is where you should show movement, emotion, and body language. You want to add beats that enhance the story.
Deep POV is about removing adverbs and dialogue tags (said, questioned, asked, etc.)

Issue: (said angrily)
“I don’t want you here,” Joe said angrily.
♦ The word “angrily” is a vague (telling/explaining) word and does not show the reader anything. What is the context of the visual image in this scene?
Fix:
“I don’t want you here!” Joe balled his fists and breathed hard.
♦ Removing the “said” tag makes the sentence better. Replacing the adverb “angrily” with showing description helps the reader better understand Joe’s emotions and actions.
Issue: (said happily)
“Thank you for the birthday present,” Sue said happily.
♦ The word “happily” is vague and communicates little. The reader gets the idea, but why not improve the sentence?
Fix:
“Thank you for the birthday present.” Sue wiped a tear from her eye and smiled.
♦ Removing the “said” tag and “happily” adverb improved this sentence. Sue, wiping her tears, gives a better description of her emotions. The reader has a better image.
Issue: (very, totally, said sadly)
“I am very sorry that I totally forgot to pick you up,” Joe said sadly.
♦ Here, the adverbs “very” and “totally” try to intensify the verbs sorry and forgot. The adverb “sadly” is vague and does not describe an emotion.
Fix:
“I am sorry I forgot to pick you up.” Joe swallowed the knot in his throat, sighed, and dropped his gaze to the floor.
♦ This sentence reads much better. The reader can better imagine Joe’s feelings and sincerity.
Verb and adverb combos

Using a verb to enhance an adverb is a Deep POV violation. The goal is to replace [weak verb] + [adverb] combos with a single, more descriptive verb. Doing so will make your writing tighter, more engaging, and faster-paced.
Here are a few more examples of strong verbs that can replace [weak verb] + [adverb] combos:


[weak verb] + [adverb] More Descriptive Verb
speak loudly shout, yell, bark
move swiftly speed, dart, bolt, zoom, dash, zip
hit lightly tap, touch
say jokingly joke, kid
attempt bravely dare
perform poorly fail, flunk, bomb
note subtly suggest, insinuate, imply
eat voraciously devour, scarf, chomp
take forcefully grab, seize, snatch
look extendedly stare, gaze
study closely scrutinize, inspect
do repeatedly repeat, redo
Issue: (walked loudly)
Joe walked loudly up the stairs into his room.
♦ This sentence has a [weak verb] + [adverb] combo and is wordy. This tells the reader how Joe walked. Reword to show how Joe walked.
Fix:
Joe stomped up the stairs into his room.
♦ This reads better with fewer words. The reader can better visualize how Joe goes up the stairs.
Issue: (loudly said)
The drill sergeant loudly said the instructions.
♦ This sentence has an [adverb] + [weak verb] combo. Replace with a stronger verb.
Fix:
The drill sergeant shouted the instructions.
♦ Replacing the [adverb] + [weak verb] combo with a single stronger verb makes the sentence better.
Issue: (walked quickly)
Joe walked quickly down thehallway.
♦ How would you remove the [weak verb] + [adverb] combo without changing the sentence’s meaning?
Fix:
Joe hurried down the hallway.
♦ The word hurried replaced “walked quickly.” This sentence is less wordy, and it implies Joe’s urgency.
Redundant Adverbs

Redundant adverbs tell the reader something the verb already implies. This happens when a strong verb carries the action taking place. Watch for [redundant adverb] + [verb] phrases.


Redundant Better
assert boldly assert
complete entirely complete
completely demolish demolish
crawled slowly crawled
hurry quickly hurry
insist adamantly insist
scream loudly scream
smash forcefully smash
squeezed tightly squeezed
stare intently stare
totally obliterate obliterate
wander aimlessly wander
whisper softly whisper
Issue: (briefly)
Joe briefly glanced at the wall clock.
♦ The adverb “briefly” and the verb “glanced” are redundant. Why? The word “briefly” implies taking a quick, brief, or hurried look, which has the same meaning as a glance.
Fix:
Joe glanced at the wall clock.
♦ Removing the adverb briefly did not change the sentence’s meaning.
Issue: (slowly, leisurely)
Joe and Sue strolled slowly and leisurely on the beach.
♦ The adverbs “slowly” and “leisurely” are redundant. There is no need for these two adverbs.
Fix:
Joe and Sue strolled on the beach.
♦ The verb strolled means walking in a slow and relaxed way, without hurry. Replacing “slowly and leisurely” with “strolled” improved the sentence. This sentence reads more direct and to the point.
Or.
Under the moonlight, holding hands, Joe and Sue strolled on the beach.
♦ Same sentence with added spice.
Misplaced Adverbs

You should avoid adverbs, but if you must use them, make sure the placement is correct. A misplaced adverb can change the sentence’s meaning. If possible, put the adverb close to the verb it modifies to avoid confusion.

Issue: (only)
Joe and Sue only go to college on Wednesdays.
♦ Here, the adverb “only” modifies the verb go. This sentence has several potential meanings:
1. Joe and Sue go to college on Wednesdays and nowhere else.
2. If that is the case, the sentence is correct.
3. This sentence is wrong if Joe and Sue do other things on Wednesdays.
Issue: (rarely)
Sue goes to Houston to visit her sister rarely.
♦ The sentence is confusing, with two or three potential meanings.
• Does Sue go to Houston rarely?
• Or does she visit her sister rarely or both?
In Summary:

As mentioned earlier, there is nothing wrong with sprinkling a few adverbs here and there. But the fewer adverbs you have in your writing, the better.

  • Avoid adverbs in dialogue and thought tags.
  • Replace adverbs in narration using inner thought, movement, emotion, and body language descriptions.
  • Watch for redundant adverbs that have the same meaning as the verb.
  • Most adverbs are not necessary. Removing the adverb will not alter the sentence’s meaning or phrase.
  • Watch for misplaced adverbs in a sentence that can lead to confusion.